Portal
by GeckoGecko
Summary: A novelization of Portal with a couple of twists and turns thrown in... Follow the stories of GLaDOS, Doug Rattman, and our favorite subject as she fights to survive and uncover the mysteries of Aperture Science. T for dark elements and possible violence/language.


"_Come, little leaves, said the wind one day; come to the meadows with me and play."_

The scientist hummed absent-mindedly, words echoing softly in his mind. He had to do something to break the silence. Without _her _presence, it was so despairingly dim and quiet. Why his brain had chosen that song, he didn't know. It had been her favorite, and when she was still around, it was the melody that could be heard bouncing off any wall when she was nearby. It didn't really help that his meds had run out this morning, so now he was left trying to contend with his troubled mind until he could get his hands on some more. He went back to humming, wishing desperately that his mind would allow him to land on another song.

"_Put on your dresses of red and gold; for summer is past, and the days grow-" _

"_I'm different."_

The scientist stopped humming, snapping to look at the little egg-shaped robot on the table next to him.

With no one else in the room, it was incredibly quiet, not one noise breaking the silence except his own slightly shaken breath. For a good five minutes, he stared at the machine, right into its darkened optic, expecting it to spring to life and speak to him again. He even wondered for a moment if it moved every time he turned to check the doorway for unwanted visitors. Not a sound, not one inch of movement. He must have imagined it.

With a deep sigh, he went back to work, his long fingers manipulating the screwdriver into the small hole on the cube he was building. "_Soon as the leaves heard the wind's loud call, down they came fluttering one and all. Over the meadows they danced and flew, all singing the soft little songs they-"_

"_Hello?"_

This time, Doug Rattman stopped what he was doing completely, placing his half finished test cube on the workbench, giving his undivided attention to the little robot on the table.

"What did you say?" He shuddered at the echo of his own voice. The words coming out of his mouth made the insanity a little more real. He tried to convince himself that this wasn't real, that it was a result of running out of his schizophrenia medication. Enough nightmares had been caused by artificial intelligence in this madhouse, the last thing he needed was for the mindless drones to become . . .well . . .mind_ful. _

"_Her name is Caroline. Remember that." _

"Don't say that." Doug suddenly scolded the turret harshly, running both hands hurriedly through his scruffy dark hair. "Don't say that. Don't remind me."

_"Her name is Caroline." _The sentry mimicked, clicking it's empty guns in and out as if it were an impatient bird wanting to take flight.

"No it's not. Not anymore."

"_Her name is Car-"_

"I KNOW." The loud voice startled the robot into silence. "WE KNOW. WE ALL KNOW." Doug shouted, doing anything he could to block out the noise of the incessant little robot that seemed to have become fascinated with her own voice. Caroline had been the sunshine in this dark place, and now that she was gone, there was nothing left of Aperture's original legacy. "I know. I could never forget."

_"She knows." _Doug looked up slowly, hands trembling.

"_It knows."_

Doug snapped his head up, staring at the robot with a horrified expression. How could it possibly-

"Doug?"

Doug fell out of his stupor, standing from his chair in a panic and knocking his tools to the floor. When he spun around on his heel, he came face to face with his coworker Robert Brown, whose eyebrows furrowed with suspicion.

"They wanted me to come bring you down to the relaxation chambers, they need your help."

Doug looked bitterly at the ground. "What do you need me for? I already put in my opinion; they ignored it and went right ahead with it anyway."

"They don't want an opinion. They want a trigger. They need to see if the wipe was successful. If she remembers anything at all, it'll be you."

Doug's stomach fell into his knees. _If she remembers anything at all. _How could he have not intervened more, stopped them from depriving her? But then again, depriving her of what? The pain? Or the memory of the atrocity they had just committed? Had this not been an option, the chances of them letting her live at all were slim. Maybe this way she could live a normal life. Maybe she could escape. It was hope for her that kept him sane throughout the day. Though Caroline was gone, maybe her wishes could still live on.

* * *

><p>As they rode the lift down into the depths of Aperture Science, Doug's hopes sunk along with it. He wasn't sure if he had the stomach to look her in the eyes. What if she did remember? What if she recognized him and never forgave him for even participating in such an endeavor? The only friend he had left would most likely abandon him, too.<p>

The lift slid to a stop, doors hissing open gently to reveal a dim hallway with a sign directing the scientists towards the relaxation chamber ward. Doug followed Brown down the hall and around a couple of turns before they came to the door for "Relaxation Chamber 6".

"Can I have a minute?" Doug pleaded, looking at Brown desperately. After a moment, Brown nodded and disappeared through the door, leaving Doug by himself in the hall. He slumped against the wall, holding his head in his hands. Maybe this wouldn't have been so difficult without his medication; Or without human emotion. He couldn't just put it aside like the rest of them. It was a matter of humanity, of conscience. He couldn't see the joy in playing God like everyone else who worked here. His esteem didn't allow him to see himself any higher than that barely conscious robot in his lab. If he was so lowly, what place did he have to tamper with other people?

"_Might as well get this over with" _he said to himself, pushing the door open.

Unfortunately, he wasn't alone. Inside the observation room were at least four other scientists, only two of which he knew by name. All of them were writing notes on clipboards, barely acknowledging him as he entered. Eventually, one of the technicians put his board down and shook Doug's hand with a wry smile.

"Doug? I've heard quite a bit about you." Doug nodded gruffly, trying to mask his emotion. "Don Langely. Hopefully this shouldn't take more than a couple minutes of your time. We're fairly certain the treatment worked this time, we just need a powerful trigger to check for any cracks we may have forgotten to seal. Seeing as you were close to her at the time of the trauma, you are the best bet for breaking the weak points.

"Just tell me what I need to do." Doug said bitterly, not hiding his contempt for the man's lack of pity.

"We're going to bring the girl into the room, and I just need you to talk to her for a bit without suggesting anything about what happened. Just talk to her like you saw her in the hall or on the street. If we can keep her stable for five minutes, she should be ready for the next phase, and soon we'll be able to let her go."

"Fine." Doug marched towards the chamber door, but Langely pulled him back.

"Remember, not a word."

"I understand, just let me see her." Suddenly his fear was overcome with hope. He just wanted to see her face again. Doug entered the chamber, the door closing behind him without a sound. He sat down at the table in the middle of the room, staring at the empty seat across from him. Eyes darting from corner to corner, he was easily able to spot the cameras and the two-way mirror, neither of which were helping his paranoia.

Doug's eyes were drawn back upwards when another door opened, and out walked the girl, donning a soft blue medical gown and a confused expression. She was just as lovely as he remembered, though she seemed to have deteriorated under the stress she had been facing. The young girl he had seen not so long ago seemed to have aged considerably, making her look twenty instead of a mere fourteen years old. Her black hair had thinned out some, her bright blue eyes looking tired from lack of sleep and confusion.

"Chell?" Doug said cautiously, watching for any kind of reaction. Her eyes met his, eyebrows furrowing.

"How do you know my name? Have I met you before?" Those words cut through his chest like a knife. Obviously the science team had reached at least a partial success: she didn't know who he was.

"I . . ." he could feel the eyes on the other side of the mirror boring into him, so he swallowed his nerves and pressed on. "No. No you haven't. My name is Doug. I'm a scientist."

He reached out, and after staring for a moment, Chell reached out to meet him, her small and steady hand meeting his large, shaky one. "You're a scientist?"

Doug offered a small smile. "I am."

"What kind of scientist?"

That question took a couple moments to ponder. There was a lot under his job description. Thinking briefly of his situation, he figured he would have to add _traitor_ to that list later. "I study robots. . . I make robots."

"Robots." Chell said thoughtfully, her eyes travelling to the floor.

"Yes. That's my job. Big ones, small ones, you name it."

"They told me about the big robot; the one that's supposed to run this place? She isn't awake yet, but when she is they said they would show me."

Doug almost forgot to breathe. She really didn't remember anything at all.

"That robot always fascinated me. I imagine she will be a good friend to all of us." Doug said absently, thinking of how it would be taking Caroline's place, and wondering if it could ever really fill her shoes.

Chell smiled. "That's cool. Can you show me your robots one day?"

"I should think so." Doug smiled wryly, thinking back to the little curious robot in his lab. "You probably need to get some rest first, you look like you have had a very tiring day."

Now he wanted nothing more than to leave the little room. It was clear that she had no memory of anything that had happened to her . . .Doug almost envied her. He had to live with it. Chell's face fell slightly, but the stubbornness that used to occupy her features so frequently was no longer present. She simply resigned to her fate, nodding dully. Both of them stood, Chell looking a little lost.

"Thank you for talking with me, Dr. Rattman. When I'm better I'll ask if I can come find you. Maybe we can spend the day together and look at your little robots." Chell said genuinely after a yawn.

"I'd like that." Doug said quietly. He turned, walking towards the door. He just needed to put this whole thing behind him. The sooner he let it go, the sooner he would be allowed to return to the surface and refill his medication. He started to hum again as he waited for the door to open.

"_Soon as the leaves heard the wind's loud call, down they came fluttering one and all."_

"Over the meadows they danced and flew . . .singing the soft little songs they knew . . ."

Doug froze. That hadn't been in his mind. He spun around only to come face to face with Chell, who looked like she'd just found the answer to life itself.

"I know that song . . .Doug. _Doug._"

"No . . ." he shook his head, trying to ignore her.

"Doug. Doug, I know you. I know that song. _Doug, _what is going _on?_" Chell stumbled over to him, grabbing his arm violently.

"You don't know me. You need rest-"

"They took her away from me!" Chell insisted, her voice rising to a shout. "THEY STUFFED HER INTO THAT . . .THAT THING! THEY TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME!"

"She's having a relapse, this is what I was looking for. Doug, come out of there, we'll handle it." Langely's voice came through the window, but Doug's feet were frozen in place, watching the young woman as she began to panic.

"Doug, please, you have to stop them, you can't let them keep me here."

He searched for the words to comfort the young girl, but he couldn't muster anything useful. He couldn't deny it any more; such nonsense would drive him mad.

"Chell, they're just trying to help you."

"No, Doug, they want me to forget. I don't want to forget. I WANT HER BACK." Chell howled, fighting against the technicians that came in to take her back to bed. Doug was paralyzed, torn between fighting them off and helping her escape, or letting them drag her into blissful ignorance to everything she had seen in the past few weeks. He couldn't do it by himself . . .he would have to wait. There would be more prime opportunities.

Chell had put up a valiant fight, but against a full grown man and woman with a syringe she hadn't stood much of a chance. They picked up the now sleeping girl, carrying her back into the relaxation ward.

Doug stood in the room by himself, still staring at the spot where Chell had just stood. All this time he had looked after her like the niece he'd never had. He had just watched as they took her away to drain her of her memories. When had he become so spineless?

He suddenly decided to himself he couldn't just stand by. Not any more. He owed her at least that, after sitting by for everything else.

He would help Chell escape this pit eventually . . . he just had to find the right time.


End file.
